…a little story about being, choice, and awareness…
Once, there was a big tree. This tree had many flowers. They were beautiful white and all of them had four leaves. All but one. This one flower had five leaves.
The fact that this single flower had five leaves instead of four made it very special. It made this flower different from all the other flowers. At least, that’s what she made herself believe in the end. At first she didn’t know that she was different. She was just there, together with all the other flowers, being a flower and not aware of any sort of difference. But this big tree had an amazing ability. It was giving each flower the ability to think.
So, these flowers were all thinking the same thing: they thought they were beautiful. They all thought that their leaves were the most beautiful. That the yellow buds where complimenting the ivory white leaves and that having four leaves was the best amount a flower could have.
And this one flower with five leaves? She was looking just the same. She as well had a beautiful yellow bud and her leaves were beautiful ivory white as well. She had even five of them. But for all the other flowers this was strange. Why did she have five leaves? Why not four? And why was she different? They didn’t understand. So, they started to talk about her. They were telling each other that she was strange and awkward looking. And sometimes, after a period of hurtful silence, they laughed out loud and made jokes about her. Only because this flower had five leaves instead of three.
You can imagine what happens next. This flower started to feel sad and alone. She didn’t understand why all the other flowers didn’t like her. She didn’t do anything wrong.
More and more she started to close her leaves. Why wouldn’t she? Every time she would open her leaves, all she was getting were jokes and laughter from the other flowers.
And so, after some time, this flower became so sad that it started to wish that it was just like all the other flowers. She didn’t want to feel this. She wanted to feel loved. She wanted to be part of the rest. She wanted to be just white with four leaves instead of five.
And after some time she decided to change something about herself. Because she was now convinced that she was not beautiful. She was not like the others and therefor not as beautiful as they where. Now, she would make herself more beautiful. So, one night, she took all her courage and changed the colour of her five leaves from white to pink. It was really beautiful indeed. The flower was hoping that all the other flowers would see it and would find it so beautiful that they would love her and accept her. But instead, when the other flowers woke up the next morning and saw the new, pink leaves from this special flower, they started to laugh even louder. They were saying it was ridiculous. Why would she draw even more attention to herself? She was already weird. This was hurting the flower very much. She didn’t understand. Why would all these flowers be so mean? Why couldn’t they just be nice to her?
She became so sad and felt so alone that she closed her leaves for three days. Even on a beautiful sunny day, she didn’t want to open her leaves. She could hear the flowers around her chat and laugh, but was too afraid to open herself again.
Then, one night, she did something very daring. Something so drastic that all the other flowers would see that she is just like them! At midnight, when all the flowers were closed and asleep, she painfully forced one of her five leaves to fall off. It was hurting a lot. It was, as if she took a piece from herself, and threw it away. Silently, and with great sorrow, she watched how her leaf fell to the ground.
The next morning, when all the flowers woke up and started to open themselves for the first sunlight, she was full of anticipation to see if the flowers would notice what she did. And believe me, they did. They saw it. All the flowers were looking at that one leaf lying on the floor. All the flowers where watching her not knowing whether she did this on purpose or if it was an accident. Now she was the same. Just like them. There was no more difference between them and her. Immediately they became all very, very silent. It was as if they lost their voices. Not one of these flowers dared to see a word.
Then, something very special happened. From one moment to the next all the flowers started to lose their leaves. The floor beneath the tree became all white from all the leaves that were falling down. It was a real spectacle to see. For several minutes it was raining beautiful white leaves. It was a sight to see. But now, all the flowers were leafless. All but one! One flower did not lose her leaves. This flower, whom desired more than anything to be accepted, to be just like the other so she could feel loved, was the only one left with four leafs. She stood out. Again. She became special. Again!