One day I came across a post where people were asked to be interviewed about making and shaping a new society.
My first response was enthusiasm and I responded to the post that I would like to tell my story. But after a few days I discovered that I wasn’t quite sure what it was that I wanted to tell.
That I wanted to share something was clear to me. But I ran into the same dilemma as when I took notice of the OPPT and was, at first, ready to take matter in my own hands;
It was (not yet) necessary.
Why was it not (yet) necessary?
That was the question that masterminding my head. I had to put myself to this question. But the answer wasn’t so hard to find.
It had everything to do with how my life had unfold itself since the day I was born.
Although I do not know much anymore of how I was when I was a child and have to rely on the stories told by my elders. But one thing was always very clear to me: I needed freedom!
In my early years this was expressed by just doing what you like, rebelling against the law, going your own way even though your surrounding is advising you to do otherwise and stopping school because you just don’t see the point of it.
Not so very uncommon until the moment you keep doing this while you are expected to create security, plan a future and start a family. I tried and I failed. I didn’t fail my family or my surrounding…I failed myself. I tried to do something which made me die immediately.
It was until my last try that it showed me without any conceal that I had to stop! I had to stop trying to be like the masses or the established order wanted me to be.
I took a drastic decision. I sold my stuff and gave away pretty much everything. All that I wanted to keep was placed in a small wooden box made from the floor that I placed in my studio a few month earlier. The box was stored with my family and all I took was a backpack, some good tracking cloth and a walking stick.
I literally walked into the wide open.
For one and a half year I travelled around. Coming across many traps and barriers in my life and meeting the woman who could stay next to me and was able to trigger al the right buttons.
Although I didn’t know if I would come back to the Netherlands, I eventually did in 2001. I needed to create some security to be able to marry the woman who I became to love, who I wanted to stand next to me. But again I fell in a trap which took me 10 years to realize it. But was it really a trap? Or was it nothing more than a preparation to grow stronger in one’s purpose? The question is less important than the outcome. It happened to be that this wonderful woman was able to feel and trigger my longing for freedom and encourage me to cultivate it.
Not by directness or by just plane out telling me. No, that would have been too easy. It happened to be that this marriage, even though many times I was convinced that it was a restriction to my freedom, was in fact the most ideal given situation to express and cultivate the true strength as a free human being!
It is the contradiction, the confrontation with opposite poles that give the ability for our creation to sparkle and let it show us its magic.
No matter how I was trying to create some sort of security, it never really answered to the idea that I had set my mind to of how it should be. Because I never really understood what security was, I could never see it, believe it or embrace it as a fact. How could I create something, build something if deep down everything told me that it was impossible. That it would be like building a stone house on drifting sand.
It is now since two years that I started to see how and why my life went as it went….
During three very special seminars in Czech it became clear to me that I always was living from the heart. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Not always pure, not always healthy but always leading to where I needed to go.
There where periods in my live that I could literally feel the guidance and there where periods that I sincerely was lost, feeling hopeless and sometimes deliberately choose for not being present. Everything went as it should have….because I made the choices that let me to its experience.
By returning through the emotional barrier to my heart I discovered that a human being does not have to fight against the so called established order. This order, the law, the constitution or whatever name it has been given, is an illusion to which we hold on too. By fighting it you acknowledge its power and give it its strength. Instead you should for most or only focus on what your heart tells you as being your truth.
For every person this can be different. This is one of the inevitable contradictions that gives us the possibility to grow.
But you have to do what you think you need to do! Do this from the heart, not from the ego! Two very different things.
The ego is not something that needs to be conquered, defeated or denied. The ego is a magnificent tool to manifest yourself as a human being.
Read this well: it is a working tool which you handle! Not the other way around.
With this in mind I saw that in my personal situation there were no direct action needed through the fillings and other wonderful juridical documents that are given by the OPPT.
This still can happen when the circumstances ask for it.
That OPPT came to life is nothing more than a logic consequence after action. It belongs in this time where it can and will be used.
But the freedom of every human being made of flesh and blood does not have its origin in the action it takes to liberate one’s self from a system, the established order. For this system is created by us and will be replaced for another.
No, freedom has its roots, its origin within our self. It is our self and it is expressed from our heart. And as it is expressed within a movement like the OPPT, we have to take our own full responsibility from our freedom to act accordingly to our heart’s way. Take responsibility from out of our heart and no cause for harm to any other is established.
Important here is to acknowledge the fact that we do not have to be perfect or have to reach some sort of sense of being to be ready to take this responsibility. Everything starts small and needs to fall, to crumble, to fall and to get up to really become the reliable strength in life it needs to be.
There are numerous ways to grow and numerous ways to fall. All is part of each person’s chosen experience and therefor reality. Give yourself the freedom to do so and you automatically will noticed that you do not have to tell others to do the same or to do it differently.
Help each other by helping yourself.